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Why is it we feel the need to control every little detail of every little part of our lives? Why at work do I not only have to keep inventory, but both my bosses and I feel the need to break it down into categories. How does this translate into our spiritual and emotional life?
I believe we have this need because if we are not "keeping track of" every little tiny thing then there is the possibility that it will all spin out of control and we will crash face first into a semi-truck. We do not like the idea of that, not at all. When you look back on your life and you see the places where you controlled every little detail, did your life really go any smoother? Or did you still hit that semi-truck?
I have found in my life that when I give up the control and allow God to control my life he shows me where I need to be super organized and where I can let it slide. He shows me how to keep things in order without micromanaging. Sadly, I forget this sometimes and become anal retentive in some part of my life. I happen to be the type of person who even though I dream of my whole life being organized, it doesn't work that way. If one part of my life is totally organized, down to micromanaging organized, then other parts of my life are a disaster. For instance, if the home is perfectly clean and my schoolwork is perfect then work is a mess. If work is perfect then one of the other two suffers...see the quandry? Then I spin out of control and start to feel like a failure in all aspects when something goes awry. And suddenly...BAM...there's that semi-truck.
If I just sit back, organize by macromanagement, and raise all of it to heaven, then I can move out of the way of that semi and just keep going. It's the remembering to raise it to heaven that's my problem. I don't desire to hold tight to everything, really. I just worry that the things I'm raising up aren't important enough for Abba to worry about...I know this isn't true. I know that he cares for every little detail. But the brain doesn't like to listen to the heart, so I hit that semi-truck today. At least now it's a smaller semi truck, but still a semi. I realized I hit that truck when I started craving a nice long drink and a pack of Camels.
You know the cool part though, I was able to say no this time. I'm not spinning out of control, just swerving a little.
I believe we have this need because if we are not "keeping track of" every little tiny thing then there is the possibility that it will all spin out of control and we will crash face first into a semi-truck. We do not like the idea of that, not at all. When you look back on your life and you see the places where you controlled every little detail, did your life really go any smoother? Or did you still hit that semi-truck?
I have found in my life that when I give up the control and allow God to control my life he shows me where I need to be super organized and where I can let it slide. He shows me how to keep things in order without micromanaging. Sadly, I forget this sometimes and become anal retentive in some part of my life. I happen to be the type of person who even though I dream of my whole life being organized, it doesn't work that way. If one part of my life is totally organized, down to micromanaging organized, then other parts of my life are a disaster. For instance, if the home is perfectly clean and my schoolwork is perfect then work is a mess. If work is perfect then one of the other two suffers...see the quandry? Then I spin out of control and start to feel like a failure in all aspects when something goes awry. And suddenly...BAM...there's that semi-truck.
If I just sit back, organize by macromanagement, and raise all of it to heaven, then I can move out of the way of that semi and just keep going. It's the remembering to raise it to heaven that's my problem. I don't desire to hold tight to everything, really. I just worry that the things I'm raising up aren't important enough for Abba to worry about...I know this isn't true. I know that he cares for every little detail. But the brain doesn't like to listen to the heart, so I hit that semi-truck today. At least now it's a smaller semi truck, but still a semi. I realized I hit that truck when I started craving a nice long drink and a pack of Camels.
You know the cool part though, I was able to say no this time. I'm not spinning out of control, just swerving a little.
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