Depression

Alright, for those of you who do not know, I have bi-polar disorder. Most of the time it doesn't interfere with my life thanks to my wonderful husband,God,my great psychiatrist and handful of helpful drugs. Lately, this has changed. The part of being bi-polar I hate the most is depression. The part of depression I hate the most is not the hyper emotional part. Sure, being perpetually sad or angry is annoying for my family, but it passes and a lot of my best writing happens during this time. The part of depression I hate the most is when it feels like nothing. Literally, like I have a big blank spot sitting in my soul and brain. I hate this blankness for several reasons:

1) I have NO drive. Sexual or personal.
2) No drive makes it difficult to do anything...homework, eh why bother. Housework,eh, no one notices, so again, why bother.
3) It is very difficult to get organized...
4) Socializing becomes to much work.
5) the thing I hate the most is that I am not creative at all when I'm feeling this apathetic, which means those blogs and reviews I need to write aren't getting written.

So what to do about it? Well, I talked to my doctor and he said to blog about it and try a new med. I'm doing both, plus forcing myself to do those things that need to be done. Hopefully the emptiness/apathy will soon pass and life will go on.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8