Losing My Religion

On the way home today I heard REM's "Losing My Religion", this has always been one of my favorite songs by them. I have heard people criticize this song for being anti-christian or anti-faith. I've never heard that in the song, as a matter of fact Michael Stipe has never stated it was an anti-faith song. The phrase "losing my religion" actually refers to losing your temper.

With all of that said I'd like to talk about what the song means to me. I heard this song in high school and at that time I just thought it was a cool song, I liked the lyrics and could identify with the part of the song that said,

"Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up",

 which speaks to knowing someone who seems to ignore what is actually going on and see's everyone's life as the same. Later in my life the song began to mean more to me. I started to see reflections of my life, reflections of my personal romantic and spiritual life. 

I want to concentrate on the spiritual life that it touched. In my twenties I questioned my religion, when I say this I am not talking about losing my faith in God, but rather questioning the ideas and theology I had been raised with. To me religion is more about outside forces telling you how to believe, in any faith tradition. It's not about your personal faith or your personal discovery of beliefs. I began to see that I needed to look deeper and come to my faith through my own studies and experiences. I found that in the end, after much searching, studying, and praying I came back to many of the theological ideas I had been taught. I also discovered that there were many things I discarded because I did not find biblical evidence of them. I also discovered that through this journey I was able to reach out to people of different faiths and morals and talk to them in honest discussion. No fighting, no belittling, just good healthy discussions. I was able to counsel people regardless of their beliefs through heartaches and disappointment because I had experienced many of the same things. Throughout everything I never felt abandoned by God, I constantly felt his presence in my life; at times guiding me, other times letting me find my own way to him. 

I was blessed to have parents and spiritual parents who also gave me the space to take this journey, to "lose my religion". They never treated me like I was a scourge or outcast for questioning my beliefs, they encouraged me to question what they had taught me. When I could show them were their theology was wrong, they accepted it and changed it. 

 

By "losing my religion" I was able to become a stronger person in both my faith and life. The song gave me encouragement by letting me know that I was not alone in my heartbreak or in my journey.

By this time in my life the most important lyrics to me were

"That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool "